Greatest Sidekicks List

[Lolua]

A college newspaper, The Knight News from Queens College, CUNY, compiled a list of the 100 Greatest Cinema Sidekicks.

News Item on Veritaserum (tip sent in by yours truly ;D)
www.veritaserum.com/fusion/fullnews.php?id=912

Since e-mail registration is required to view the list on the original site, I'm posting it here. Notables in bold.

The Complete List:

• 100 - Dionne (Stacey Dash), Clueless. Why Her? Because she's the perfect BAP to Cher's JAP.
  
• 99 - Glenn Michaels (Steve Zahn), Out of Sight. "Oh, man, if I wasn't stoned, there is no way you would have talked me into this!"
  
• 98 - Jonathan Carnahan (John Hannah), The Mummy. Why him? His cowardice aside (which of course makes the heroes look braver), he's quite lovable in a losery way.
  
• 97 - Wilson the Volleyball, Cast Away. Why Him? Without saying a word or making a movement, he still managed to steal scenes from co-star Tom Hanks.
  
• 96 - Detective Billy Rosewood (Judge Reinhold), Beverly Hills Cop. Why him? Most comedic sidekicks are dumb, but loveable, and no other words define Billy better.
  
• 95 - Stiles (Jerry Levine), Teen Wolf. Why him? Because this movie ranks high on our guilty pleasure list, and Stiles is part of what makes it worth howling for.
  
• 94 - Brutus "Brutal" Howell (David Morse), The Green Mile. " He's paid what he's owed. He's square with the house again, so keep your gosh-dang hands off him."
  
• 93 - Detective Harry Stemple (Jeff Daniels), Speed. Why him? Because he lets Jack should him in the leg.
  
• 92 - Cadet Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow), Police Academy. Does making sounds like a machine-gun count as a memorable quote?
  
• 91 - Randall Graves (Jeff Anderson), Clerks. Why him? Because he brings out the best in Dante. And by best we mean bitchiest, which is what makes Dante so fun.
  
• 90 - Mani (Mark Damascos), The Brotherhood of the Wolf. Why him? Taking on 40 or so pagan wolf-worshippers while "The Hero" is out with harlots deserves recognition.
  
• 89 - Detective Lee Butters (Chris Rock), Lethal Weapon 4. " You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we will provide you with the dumbest lawyer on earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill ya."
  
• 88 - Billy (Jared Rushton), Big. "I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh? . . . And I'm three months older than you are, not a very nice person!"
  
• 87 - Yussel (David Krumholtz), Liberty Heights. Why him? He does a fine job of making Adrien Brody look like the cool, handsome Jew (Such a thing exists in real life too! He's called Zach Grosser).
  
• 86 - The Grim Reaper (William Sadler), Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. Why him? Though this dude totally sucks at board games, is a sore loser, and has feet that smell heinous, he still plays a mean bass.
  
• 85 - Toby Radloff (Judah Friedlander), American Splendor. "I consider myself a nerd."
  
• 84 - Lewis Rothschild (Michael J. Fox), The American President. Why him? Cause he showed that sometimes the sidekick can be the more interesting character, and thus Spin City was born (where Carter and Stuart -- the sidekicks -- were in fact the more interesting characters).
  
• 83 - Ed (Nick Frost), Shaun of the Dead. "Who died and made you f-ing king of the zombies?"
  
• 82 - Loomis (Randy Quaid), Quick Change. "Oh! We're all gonna die! We're a-a-a-ll gonna d-i-i-e!"
  
• 81 - Nazo (Rob Schneider), Big Daddy. "They make terrific pair. They went together like lamb and tuna fish."
  
• 80 - Captain Ed Hocken (George Kennedy), The Naked Gun. "Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50-50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that."
  
• 79 - Paul Spericki (Jeremy Piven), Gross Pointe Blank. Why Him? Duh. Because it's a John Cusack movie and he's Jeremy Piven.
  
• 78 - Mini-Me (Vern Troyer), Austin Powers. "Eeee-Eeee."
  
• 77 - Ed Furillo (Bruno Kirby), City Slickers. "Shut up! Just shut up! He doesn't get it! He'll never get it! It's been four hours! The cows can tape something by now!"
  
• 76 - Derek (Robert Downey Jr.), Back to School. Why him? Because he somehow manages to come off as the nerd -- see the movie and you'll know what we mean.
  
• 75 - Sammy (Allen Covert), The Wedding Singer. Why him? Because we don't think he looks all that bad in his "Thriller" get-up.
  
• 74 - Maj. Tom Baxter (David Morse), The Rock. "It has been the greatest honor of my life to serve with you, General."
  
• 73 - Stan (David Paymer), Mr. Saturday Night. "Buddy, my whole life I listened to ya' bellyache about your luck. Well, you are where you are because of who you are."
  
• 72 - Phil Berquist (Daniel Stern), City Slickers. "I lost my wife, I lost my job, and I'm developing some kind of rash!"
  
• 71 - Coleman (Denholm Elliot), Trading Places. Why him? Because in general, butler's are little more than under-appreciated sidekicks, and we were glad to see one come out on top.
  
• 70 - Michael Eckman (David Krumholtz), 10 Things I hate About You. "The nutsith hath hitith the fan... ith."
  
• 69 - Banky Edwards (Jason Lee), Chasing Amy. "I'm telling you that chick is probably a bigger germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak."
  
• 68 - Louis Tully (Rick Moranis), Ghostbusters 2. Why him? Because we love it when the nerd becomes the hero.
  
• 67 - PFC Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze), Three Kings.
  
• 66 - Blinkin (Mark Blankfield), Robin Hood: Men in Tights. "Oh, Master Robin! You lost your arms in battle . . . but you grew some nice boobs."
  
• 65 - Sid Worley (David Keith), An Officer and a Gentleman. Why him? Because if not for Sid, Mayo would not be an officer . . . and possibly not a gentleman.
  
• 64 - Reed Rothchild (John C. Reilly), Boogie Nights. Why him? Like Robin to Batman (yes we know we left off Chris O'Donnell), he's Chest Rockwell to Dirk Diggler.
  
• 63 - Colonel Sandurz (George Wyner), Spaceballs. "No, sir! I didn't see you playing with you dolls again."
  
• 62 - Zeus Carver (Samuel L. Jackson), Die Hard: With a Vengeance.
  
• 61 - Hamish (Brendan Gleeson), Braveheart. "Well, we didn't get dressed up for nothing."
  
• 60 - Teddy (voiced by Jack Angel), A.I. "I am not a toy."
  
• 59 - Horatio (it wouldn't be fair to just pick one), Hamlet. " Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."
  
• 58 - Duckie (Jon Cryer), Pretty in Pink. Why him? 'Cause it turns out he wasn't gay . . . right?
  
• 57 - Sembagare (John Omirah Miluwi), Gorillas in the Mist. Why Him? Otherwise Dianne Fossey would be lost somewhere in Africa.
  
• 56 - Father Damien Karras (Jason Miller), The Exorcist. " Take me. Come into me. God dang you. Take me. Take me!"
  
• 55 - Albert Gibson (Tom Arnold), True Lies. "Harry? Harry? You do not have time to tango, buddy. You copy?"
  
• 54 - Sal (John Cazale), Dog Day Afternoon. Why him? He thinks Wyoming is a country, thereby making Pacino look brilliant.
  
• 53 - Brodie Bruce (Jason Lee), Mallrats. "Richard Dawson, why don't you just go back to your podium until it's time to play The Feud. All right?"
  
• 52 - Bernard (David Krumholtz), The Santa Clause. Why him? Why not? (Sorry, we just wanted to do that for someone.)
  
• 51 - Marcus (Tony Cox), Bad Santa. Unfortunately, we couldn't pick a quote which wasn't laden with extreme profanity.

(continued in next post)

[Lolua]

So the whole list wouldn't fit on one post. It continues here.

• 50 - Semmi (Arsenio Hall), Coming to America. "But where in New York can one find a woman with grace, elegance, taste and culture, a woman suitable for a king?" (If you don't know the answer, you haven't seen the film.)
  
• 49 - Short Round (Ke Huy Quan), Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. "You call him Dr. Jones, lady!"
  
• 48 - Stephen (David O'Hara), Braveheart. "The Almighty says this must be a fashionable fight. It's drawn the finest people."
  
• 47 - Corey Flood (Lili Taylor), Say Anything. Why her? Because a platonic female sidekick to a male hero is quite rare (in case you haven't noticed by now).
  
• 46 - Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman), Unforgiven. "'Course, you know, Will, if Claudia was alive, you wouldn't be doin' this."
  
• 45 - Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt), Ocean's Eleven and Ocean's Twelve. Why him? Because he convinces Danny that they do in fact need "one more" without so much as saying a word or making a movement.
  
• 44 - Chucky (Ben Affleck), Good Will Hunting. "So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and sh-- on the wall."
  
• 43 - Barf (John Candy), Spaceballs. Why him? Because as a Mog, he might claim to be his own best friend but we know he's loyal to Lonestar. (D'you think they ever play fetch?)
  
• 42 - Jeff Slater (Bill Murray), Tootsie. "I'm just afraid that you're going to burn in Hell for all this."
  
• 41 - Manny Ray (Stephen Bauer), Scarface. Why him? Well, he at least tried to keep Tony calm and focused.
  
• 40 - Kenickie (Jeff Conaway), Grease. "A hickie from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card, when you only care enough to send the very best!"
  
• 39 - Billy Kwan (Linda Hunt), The Year of Living Dangerously. Why him/her? Though we're still a bit confused about the gender thing, he/she did come in handy for Mel Gibson.
  
• 38 - Iago (voiced by Gilbert Godfried), Aladdin. Why him? One of the only Disney sidekicks to not come off as annoying (e.g., Miko in Pocahontas), which is saying a lot, considering his voice.
  
• 37 - Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint), Harry Potter. Why him? Because it's tough living in Harry's shadow, but don't worry Ron, we read book five and your day is coming.
  
• 36 - Hermione Granger (Emma Watson), Harry Potter. "Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled."
  
• 35 - Joshua (John Derek), The Ten Commandments. Why him? It's tough living in Moses' shadow, but he did lead the Children of Israel into . . . Israel.
  
• 34 - Little John (Alan Hale), The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938). Why him? Because in real life he's awfully big. (We'd like to thank Mel Brooks for that one.)
  
• 33 - Puss in Boots (voiced by Antonio Banderas), Shrek 2. "Pray for mercy from Puss . . . in boots."
  
• 32 - Jim Malone (Sean Connery), The Untouchables. "You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement: make sure when your shift is over, you go home alive. Here endeth the lesson."
  
• 31 - Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew), Star Wars. "Aaaarghrrrooooo!" Why him? Who else was going to put C-3PO back together? (But was that a good thing?)
  
• 30 - Goose (Anthony Edwards), Top Gun. "I feel the need . . . the need . . . for speed!"
  
• 29 - Doc Holliday (Dennis Quaid), Wyatt Earp. Why him? As we see from #28 as well, whether in real life or the cinema, Holliday truly was one of the greatest sidekicks of all time.
  
• 28 - Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer), Tombstone. "Maybe poker's just not your game. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!"
  
• 27 - Walter Sobchak (John Goodman), The Big Lebowski. "Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as sh** don't f****** roll.
  
• 26 - Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. "Asps. Very dangerous. You go first." Why Him? Because Indy would have eaten that bad date and the (as of now) trilogy would have ended after only a mere hour.
  
• 25 - Mr. Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Star Trek. I suppose we have to: "Live long and prosper."
  
• 24 - Benzini Napaloni (Jack Oakie), The Great Dictator. Why him? Because otherwise it might not have been as obvious that Mussolini was Hitler's sidekick.
  
• 23 - Marie (Carrie Fisher), When Harry Met Sally. "All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband."
  
• 22 - Jimminy Cricket (voiced by Cliff Edwards), Pinocchio. Why him? Yes, he might be a good conscience, but unlike other crickets he doesn't chirp annoyingly through the night.
  
• 21 - Tonto (Jay Silverheels), The Lone Ranger. Why him? Our dads practically forced us to out him on, even though he seemed like an obvious choice.
  
• 20 - Garth Algar (Dana Carvey), Wayne's World amd Wayne's World 2. Why him? 'Cause without Garth, Wayne is just a pathetic loser "schwinging" all by himself.
  
• 19 - Mercutio (Harold Perrineau Jr.), William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. "A plague o' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me."
  
• 18 - Dori (voiced by Ellen DeGeneres), Finding Nemo. "Hey, look. 'Esc-a-pay'. I wonder what that means? That's funny, it's spelled just like the word 'escape'."
  
• 17 - R2-D2 (Kenny Baker), Star Wars. Why not C-3PO? Because the gold wuss did more harm than good.
  
• 16 - Fritz (Dwight Frye), Frankenstein (1931). "Yes, master."
  
• 15 - Bubba (Mylkelti Williamson), Forrest Gump. Why him? Because Bubba was Forrest's bestest good friend, and even we know that ain't somethin' you can find 'round the corner.
  
• 14 - Martin Pawley (Jeffrey Hunter), The Searchers. Why him? Otherwise the Duke wouldn't have anyone to talk to, and it's not like he's so verbose as it is.
  
• 13 - Igor (Marty Feldman), Young Frankenstein. Why him? Because now we know the proper way to pronounce his name (and for the record it's Yo-knee, not Yan-ni).
  
• 12 - Donkey (voiced by Eddie Murphy), Shrek and Shrek 2. "This'll be fun. We'll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning . . . I'm making waffles!"
  
• 11 - Jedediah Leland (Joseph Cotton), Citizen Kane. Why him? We give him the A-for-Effort award. It's tough being the best friend of a self-centered, power-hungry multi-millionare who misses his sled.
  
• 10 - Jess (Bruno Kirby), When Harry Met Sally. "You made a woman meow?"
  
• 9 - Fezzik (Andre the Giant), The Princess Bride. Why him? Besides his incredible talent for rhyming and flair for looking stylish in Holocaust cloaks, he was a noble aid to his friends whenever they were in need.
  
• 8 - Cameron Frye (Alan Ruck), Ferris Bueller's Day Off. "He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh. . . . This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go."
  
• 7 - Antoninus (Tony Curtis), Spartacus. Why him? The best gay sidekick ever (sorry to burst the bubble of those of you who thought he was straight -- although it is an Ancient Roman gladiator movie, so you shouldn't be that shocked).
  
• 6 -Dr. Watson (Nigel Bruce), The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1939). Why him? Because he unofficially gets credit for starting the phrase, "No sh**, Sherlock."
  
• 5 - The Kid (Jackie Cooper), The Kid. Why him? Because he helped show the giant heart that lay underneath all of The Tramp's mischief.
  
• 4 - Sherif Ali (Omar Sharif), Lawrence of Arabia. "Truly, for some men nothing is written unless they write it."
  
• 3 - Captain Louis Renault (Claude Rains), Casablanca. Why him? Because Bogie wouldn't have anyone to start his "beautiful friendship" with.
  
• 2 - Itzhak Stern (Ben Kingsley), Schindler's List. "This list... is an absolute good. The list is life. All around its margins lies the gulf."
  
• 1 - Samwise Gamgee (Sean Astin), The Lord of the Rings. Why him? Because "Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam."
  

Eddie Dean, Zach Grosser, Malkie Kauffman and Yoni Glatt, "The 50 Greatest Cinema Sidekicks," The Knight News (12 April 2005), www.qcknightnews.com/news/2005/04/12/Entertainment/The-50.Greatest.Cinema.Sidekicks-923136.shtml?page=1.


Notice that Jar Jar Binks is not on the list.

[mooncroww]

I always said, no one but Sam could love Frodo.