OotP Musical Dance Numbers

[Lolua]

I'm slightly worried that if Mira Nair chooses to direct the Order of the Phoenix film, she will insert a dance number. Song-and-dance routines are a universal feature of Hindi films, and she even put an Indian-inspired dance number into her adaptation of Vanity Fair due in theaters this week.

So, without further ado, my musical version of....

Snape's Worst Memory

(Lily enters)

Lily
Leave him alone! What has he done?
Go on, get lost, You've had your fun!

James
I won't until I get a date --
Come on, give in, don't make me wait!

Lily
Not if you paid a million quid!
I'd rather date the giant squid!

(tempo picks up and there is much dancing)

James
I think I'll turn him on his head!

Lily
Just leave him be, that's what I said!

Snape
But no, I do not want your help,
You filthy bit of Mudblood whelp!

James
Scourgify!

All
Scourgify! Scourgify! Scourgify! (etc...)

(dancing)

James
Don't call her names, you evil snake,
Or I will throw you in the lake!

Lily
Shut up, I do not mind a bit,
But wash your pants, you greasy git!

(Lily exits, dancing)

James
What is the problem with that girl?

Sirius
I think she meant: you make her hurl.

(end dance number)