Post by Lolua on Jun 10, 2004 16:51:22 GMT -5
A while back, Big Brother and I wrote this list:
Top Fifteen Ways to Annoy Hermione
Feel free to add some more if you think of them! She's so much fun to annoy...
Top Fifteen Ways to Annoy Hermione
- 15. Donate all her yarn and knitting needles to Dobby. Ask him to knit a kitty sweater for Crookshanks.
- 14. Replace her Sleekeazy’s Hair Potion with Madame Poufidieux’s Volumizing Cream.
- 13. When you’re introduced to her parents, loudly hum “Be a Dentist” from Little Shop of Horrors and ask to see their rusty pliers.
- 12. Inform her that Mrs. Norris had kittens—and Crookshanks is the father.
- 11. Order your house-elf to organize a counter-protest at the next S.P.E.W. function.
- 10. Slip cat hairs in her Polyjuice Potion. Again.
- 9. Use a Love Potion to make Ron fall in love with you. Let him follow you around.
- 8. Tell her Rita Skeeter just won the Pulitzer Prize.
- 7. Sew labels in all her clothes that read: “Property of Pansy Parkinson. If found, please return to the Slytherin common room.”
- 6. Plant a pair of her knickers under Ron’s bed. Tell Filch to search Harry’s dormitory for Dungbombs.
- 5. Rip page fifty-seven out of all her books, then use them to line Crookshanks’s litter box.
- 4. Tearfully inform her that you’ve seen J.K. Rowling’s outline for Book Seven, and that you’re very sorry about what happens to her and Ron at the end of the series.
- 3. Actually read Hogwarts: A History and debate about it with her.
- 2. Find irrefutable evidence that Snape is still a loyal Death Eater trying to kill Harry, and that Dumbledore was wrong to trust him. Tell Ron about it.
- 1. Apparate or Disapparate on school grounds. Better yet, do both. Multiple times. Laugh about how easy it is.
Feel free to add some more if you think of them! She's so much fun to annoy...
