Voldemort Top Ten

[Lolua]

This morning Big Brother sent me a link to a "Top Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort" list on KeepersOfLists.org, a humor site he checks regularly:
keepersoflists.org/index.php?lid=2764

Months ago, he and I had written this list:

Top Ten Birthday Presents for Voldemort

• 10. Harry Potter’s head on a platter. Or on a pike, he wouldn’t be choosy.
  
• 9. The world. Hire Christo to wrap it.
  
• 8. A lovely fresh bouquet of dead Muggles. Make that several bouquets.
  
• Now that the obvious ones are out of the way....
  
• 7. A Magic 8 Ball. Tell him it’s the Lost Prophecy. Watch him throw a fit when he gets “Ask Again Later” as his only response.
  
• 6. A gift certificate for VillainSupply.com. And yes, it actually exists.
  
• 5. A week at a health spa, complete with gingko biloba mudpack for that nasty complexion of his.
  
• 4. A book-on-tape version of How to Influence Friends and Make People.
  
• 3. A boxed set of Teletubbies: The Complete Third Season on DVD, to add to his collection.
  
• 2. An election victory for Dubya.
  
• 1. A complete set of the selections of Oprah’s Book Club.
  

Got any more good presents in mind for an evil overlord who likes snakes and Muggle-torture?