Chicken Links

[Big Brother]

Lolua is, as we all know, Chicken-mad. So, instead of emailing links, I'll post them here.

Here's a chicken who watches TV sports:

icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/thejournal/tm_objectid=14393988&method=full&siteid=50081&headline=simply-cock-a-hoop-watching-wimbledon-name_page.html

[Big Brother]

I think we finally found the perfect mate for Lolua. Or at least the perfect recruit for the Order of Cerulean Fowl.

www.nbc10.com/news/3510527/detail.html

Remind me never to check into a hospital in Suva, Fiji, with anything more complicated than a nosebleed.

[Lorpius Prime]

Big said:

Remind me never to check into a hospital in Suva, Fiji, with anything more complicated than a nosebleed.

I think they only tie you up for a couple of weeks in those cases.

[Big Brother]

We may finally have found a Chicken video that Lolua doesn't want to see.

ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGBURLXFWWD.html

Lolua, you may want to send the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Chickens after these people.

[Lolua]

Gonzo the Great and I are dispatching a team of our best SPCC agents to investigate. Crackers the Corporate Crime-Fighting Chicken has bravely volunteered to go along as an observer.

;D

[Big Brother]

Looks like Lolua's undercover SPCC agents have successfully halted a government-sponsored anti-Chicken plot by annoying an officially-sanctioned Chicken Catcher so much that he quit his job.

jacksonville.com/tu-online/apnews/stories/080104/D846HS301.shtml

[Big Brother]

Here's a chicken who went for a car ride. Riding on top of the rear axle, under the body of a car. For 45 minutes. And then wandered around a parking lot upon reaching the destination.

top20.travelzoo.com/tmp/Index.htm

[Big Brother]

Here's a chicken that crossed the road...well, a highway, anyways...in front of a speeding car...and got tangled up in the windshield wiper blades.

cbsnewyork.com/water/watercooler_story_218100015.html

The chicken was eventually freed, unharmed, by the cops.

[Big Brother]

Apparently, steroids can make your cock grow larger. I always thought it was the other way around. But not when it comes to Chickens, at any rate...

www.nj.com/news/ledger/jersey/index.ssf?/base/news-7/1094532601122530.xml

[Big Brother]

How is this chick not in the Order of Cerulean Fowl?

JUST TAKE A GANDER . . .
BY ANNE BYRNE
www.thisisexeter.co.uk/displayNode.jsp?nodeId=137199&command=displayContent&sourceNode=136986&contentPK=10893108

12:00 - 06 September 2004
What do you call a cross between a duck and a goose? A geek, according to Katrina Lindfield - and Katrina should know as she is famed across the country for her apparent ability to talk to poultry.

Katrina, whose mother Amanda has a poultry farm in Whimple, believes that this is the first time that such a cross has been achieved and believes it could give rise to a whole new breed.

While 17-year-old Katrina is about 90 per cent certain that she now owns a geek, she intends to have it DNA-tested to make absolutely sure.

She said: "If I am right about this it would be very special. It just looks so different from the other ducks.

"I have looked it up on the internet and there is no mention of it having happened before."

The father of the geek is a white Chinese gander called Clarkey while the mother is an Aylesbury duck called Prunella.

Katrina noticed the two birds mating earlier this year.

The birds hatched from the resulting clutch of eggs were destined for the table but the future now looks very different for the geek.

Katrina said: "Out of a dozen eggs only three hatched, which was in itself a bit weird as normally about 10 would hatch.

"Two of the three were multi-coloured -white, fawn and silver, but this other one was yellow and while the other two have got their adult voices and are quacking, this one is still squeaking and sounds more like a chicken.

"He is pure white now while the other two have got fawn colouring in their adult feathers.

"I think it is a male. At six weeks it is too early to tell but it acts like a male.

"It has the neck, feet and eyes of its father but the shape and beak of its mother. Its eyes are blue. All the geese here have crystal blue eyes whereas the ducks' are a smokey brownish green."

It has left Katrina wondering what to call what is hopefully a new species.

She said: "As you have duck, drake and duckling, and goose, gander and gosling, I thought of guck, geek and geekling and think that will be all right.

"You are supposed to take the start of the name in a crossbreed from the beginning of the father's name, in this case the gander.

"The geek is so sweet. I haven't named him yet but I am going to keep him."

[Big Brother]

And yet another page has come to my attention regarding the infamous Chicken Gun.

mirrors.meepzorp.com/members.aol.com/ddsquirrel/chickengun3.html

This one has little info, but a couple very cool pics.

[Big Brother]

A chicken narrowly escaped death because the guy trying to chop its head off was so drunk/sleepy/stupid that he mistook his own male reproductive organ for the chicken's neck when swinging the axe.

www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=6406472&src=eDialog/GetContent§ion=news

Ow. Ow. Ow.

And the dog ran up and ate it.


Still, in an odd sort of way, it seems to make sense to me.

The guy had a cock that kept him up all night, so he took care of it.

What i want to know is how he wound up with a crowing penis.

[Lolua]

Big said:

What I want to know is how he wound up with a crowing penis.

What I don't want to know is where he was holding the chicken that he made such a mistake. Otherwise I'd feel compelled to notify Gonzo and the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Chickens, Sex Crimes division.

[Mlle Bienvenu]

You might like this one.....maybe you should get Pamela Anderson to join the Order....

www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com/

[Big Brother]

A guy admitted to dressing up as a giant chicken to rob a grocery store.

www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,138085,00.html