Post by Big Brother on Jun 29, 2004 6:36:34 GMT -5
Way back in the carefree days of early 2000 AD, our family had a dry-erase board hanging on the side of the refrigerator in our kitchen. The board was originally intended as a place to leave useful notes to fellow family members ("Martin: Go to the store and pick up milk and bread. -- Mom"). However, like most dry-erase message boards, it mostly got used as a place to post jokes and witty quotes. I started with a "Silly Quote of the Day" with things like "Everywhere else, there's the Mafia. In the South, we have NASCAR. -- Bert March". This quickly became "The Joke of the Day", and eventually my sister Rachel put up the first "Today's Evil Musical." I enthusiastically began also posting a snippet of lyric for a new Evil Musical every day.
What is an Evil Musical, you ask? Simple. Take a well-loved (or even roundly despised) song from a broadway or hollywood musical extravaganza, and write new parody lyrics as if that song had been in a musical based on a completely different story. For example, we'd tell the story of Star Wars using the tune of a song from the musical Evita. After all, if they can make musicals based on old low-budget movies (Phantom of the Opera, Little Shop of Horrors), lives of famous evil dictators (Evita, The Producers), bloody Bible stories (Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat), pointless and bloody civil wars (Miss Saigon, Les Miserables), and Nazis chasing nuns (The So8und of Music)...well, why NOT a musical about Auschwitz? Or a Tom Clancy novel? Or a famous scientific experiment?
Here are some of the better ones that we came up with:
Evil Musical: "The Sound of Maces"
Based on: Medieval/Renaissance history
Parody of: "The Sound of Music"
Featured Song: "My Favorite Kings"
(verse one by Lolua, verse two by Big Brother)
Eggbert and Alfred and Arthur of Britain
With Clovis and Charles and Pepin I'm smitten
The Louis' and Edward's with all of their rings
These are a few of my favorite Kings
Phillip Augustus and Karl Der Grosse
Gustav Adolphus and even King Lothar,
But Oliver Cromwell did Dastardly Things
Like beheading one of my Favorite Kings…<br>
Evil Musical: "Eleanor"
Based on: Eleanor Clift on the McLaughlin Group
Parody of: "Evita"
Featured Song: "Don't Cry For Me"
(by Big Brother)
Don't cry for me, Pat Buchanan
The Truth is, I've always loved you.
Although we've bickered,
Each Sunday morning
Don't take it personally
I'm just a Liberal
And you're G.O.P…<br>
Evil Musical: "My Fly Lady"
Based on: The Redi Experiment (historical event)
Parody of: "My Fair Lady"
Featured Song: "On the Meat Where You Live"
(by Lolua)
I have often walked
On this meat before
But I've always stayed
On all my six feet before
The facets of my eyes
Are gleaming
Knowing I'm on the meat
Where you live
Evil Musical: "Joseph Mengele and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"
Based on: The Boys From Brazil (novel by Ira Levin)
Parody of: "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"
Featured Song: "Go"
(by Big Brother)
Go Doctor Joseph Mengele
The Reich has fallen, you'd best run away
Run off to Brazil with all of your gear
So you can clone Hitler without any fear…<br>
Evil Musical: "The Pirates of Silicon Valley"
Based on: The Internet Bubble (we still called it "The Internet Boom" back then)
Parody of: "The Pirates of Penzance"
Featured Song: "The WWW Developer"
(by Big Brother)
I am the very model of a World Wide Web Developer
I code in H-T-M-L, Java, C-plus-plus and even PERL
I court the kings of Wall Street and quote flamewars historical
And organize directories in order categorical...
Evil Musical: "Leia"
Based on: Star Wars
Parody of: "Evita"
Featured Song: "Don't Cry For Me"
(by Lolua)
Don't cry for me, Luke Skywalker
The truth is, I am your Father
Turn to the Dark Side
And I won't kill you.
The Emperor might,
But what can I do?
Be my Apprentice…<br>
Evil Musical: "Les Operatives"
Based on: Clear and Present Danger (Tom Clancy novel and movie)
Parody of: "Les Miserables"
Featured Song: "Look Down"
(by Big Brother)
Look Down, Look Down
Sniper at your feet!
Look Down, Look Down,
See what he had to eat!
Second Featured Song: "At the End of the Day"
(by Big Brother)
At the end of the day,
The Cold War gets Colder
Pushing Papers at Langley
Ain't much of a life…<br>
Well. We did a few more, but they were either not very good, or entirely too short, due mainly to the need to keep the songs short enough to be written legibly on a fairly small dry-erase board.
But I hear Lolua's working on an epic musical version of all five Harry Potter books so far, using pretty much every song from both "Les Miserables" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". Perhaps someday I'll badger her into posting it.
What is an Evil Musical, you ask? Simple. Take a well-loved (or even roundly despised) song from a broadway or hollywood musical extravaganza, and write new parody lyrics as if that song had been in a musical based on a completely different story. For example, we'd tell the story of Star Wars using the tune of a song from the musical Evita. After all, if they can make musicals based on old low-budget movies (Phantom of the Opera, Little Shop of Horrors), lives of famous evil dictators (Evita, The Producers), bloody Bible stories (Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat), pointless and bloody civil wars (Miss Saigon, Les Miserables), and Nazis chasing nuns (The So8und of Music)...well, why NOT a musical about Auschwitz? Or a Tom Clancy novel? Or a famous scientific experiment?
Here are some of the better ones that we came up with:
Evil Musical: "The Sound of Maces"
Based on: Medieval/Renaissance history
Parody of: "The Sound of Music"
Featured Song: "My Favorite Kings"
(verse one by Lolua, verse two by Big Brother)
Eggbert and Alfred and Arthur of Britain
With Clovis and Charles and Pepin I'm smitten
The Louis' and Edward's with all of their rings
These are a few of my favorite Kings
Phillip Augustus and Karl Der Grosse
Gustav Adolphus and even King Lothar,
But Oliver Cromwell did Dastardly Things
Like beheading one of my Favorite Kings…<br>
Evil Musical: "Eleanor"
Based on: Eleanor Clift on the McLaughlin Group
Parody of: "Evita"
Featured Song: "Don't Cry For Me"
(by Big Brother)
Don't cry for me, Pat Buchanan
The Truth is, I've always loved you.
Although we've bickered,
Each Sunday morning
Don't take it personally
I'm just a Liberal
And you're G.O.P…<br>
Evil Musical: "My Fly Lady"
Based on: The Redi Experiment (historical event)
Parody of: "My Fair Lady"
Featured Song: "On the Meat Where You Live"
(by Lolua)
I have often walked
On this meat before
But I've always stayed
On all my six feet before
The facets of my eyes
Are gleaming
Knowing I'm on the meat
Where you live
Evil Musical: "Joseph Mengele and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"
Based on: The Boys From Brazil (novel by Ira Levin)
Parody of: "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"
Featured Song: "Go"
(by Big Brother)
Go Doctor Joseph Mengele
The Reich has fallen, you'd best run away
Run off to Brazil with all of your gear
So you can clone Hitler without any fear…<br>
Evil Musical: "The Pirates of Silicon Valley"
Based on: The Internet Bubble (we still called it "The Internet Boom" back then)
Parody of: "The Pirates of Penzance"
Featured Song: "The WWW Developer"
(by Big Brother)
I am the very model of a World Wide Web Developer
I code in H-T-M-L, Java, C-plus-plus and even PERL
I court the kings of Wall Street and quote flamewars historical
And organize directories in order categorical...
Evil Musical: "Leia"
Based on: Star Wars
Parody of: "Evita"
Featured Song: "Don't Cry For Me"
(by Lolua)
Don't cry for me, Luke Skywalker
The truth is, I am your Father
Turn to the Dark Side
And I won't kill you.
The Emperor might,
But what can I do?
Be my Apprentice…<br>
Evil Musical: "Les Operatives"
Based on: Clear and Present Danger (Tom Clancy novel and movie)
Parody of: "Les Miserables"
Featured Song: "Look Down"
(by Big Brother)
Look Down, Look Down
Sniper at your feet!
Look Down, Look Down,
See what he had to eat!
Second Featured Song: "At the End of the Day"
(by Big Brother)
At the end of the day,
The Cold War gets Colder
Pushing Papers at Langley
Ain't much of a life…<br>
Well. We did a few more, but they were either not very good, or entirely too short, due mainly to the need to keep the songs short enough to be written legibly on a fairly small dry-erase board.
But I hear Lolua's working on an epic musical version of all five Harry Potter books so far, using pretty much every song from both "Les Miserables" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". Perhaps someday I'll badger her into posting it.
